Its called the third stage!

On this sat and sun, many will be leaving. And trust me, though its not like im leaving on that weekend, but i have a feeling like you guys. Like a brand new beginning will take place real soon.

Ive been thinking a lot lately this couple of days. A lot of messy thoughts. And ppl would like haih, what do you need to think somore as u know, im heading to private U. Im taking pharm and damn im so worried. Im worried of the job opportunities as i was kinda shocked by the number of ppl taking up this course, alright, im being a lil exaggerative, around 4 including me. Then i went to a forum and start la the worrying session , they said bpharmers in imu really gotto study a lot. IM DOOOOMMMM. Just let me clarify this, yes i know, many of you will say that, "haiya, u can wan lah", but i knew at the end of the day , i am the one who has to work hard to verify this. Im not as smart and trust me, my hardworking-o-meter has really degrade since years ago. Im really scared that i cant cope all of this and end up crying like a baby again. And others, can just go study pharm LIKE THAT, i wonder if they worry like me.

Lets not talk about me. Talk about u guys who are heading to public local U. When i think of the fact that u guys are leaving, i cant help it but to feel a bit sad. Especially the close ones. Like NyingSher, oh crap,she is fraeking leaving to pahang, i cant even watch movie with her anymore, cant even tease her anymore, cant even have moments like lost the car key in the middle of the carpark and have to find it like morons when its actually INSIDE the car. HAHHAHAHAHA.

To come to think about it, I had a lot of moments with Miss Sim. Im really goonaa miss her. *tears in the eyes* Awwww.

I still have a week or so. Im gonna make good use of it. But still, its time to grow i guess, im gonna leaving home, leaving my queen sized bed, leave all this which is familiar to me and head to a place which is a total unknown to me. Im scared, yes i am, and im definitely gonna cry liek for the first four weeks, wow, thats too long, haha, maybe first five days. I have to depend on myself, wash eat clean study all by myself.

GOsh im reallly scared if i cant pass the papers then i will be like hang in the middle, Be like half pharmacist or something. :(

Its 250am. And im writing like some depressed kid.

I dont know why i feel obliged to not make ppl feel bad. Damn its tiring. And its a ONEWAY thing.

I tink im scared.

D:

And the decision has been made.

:D

Im busy last few days due to severe confusion and lotsa of thinking and talking sessions. So at last i chose Pharm Over Statistic . Yupe, thats my choice. I know theres lotsa pros and cons. And there is lotsa uncertainties in the future but ahh, like i can predict the future, so if the job prospect is ok and the course is fine then i guess I am in. I can tell you i almost die in choosing either of them, like seriously, who the hell wud know the exact answer, NOBODY, evryone can tell you their opinions on this and that, but the one who will bare with the consequence is YOU, alone.

So trust me, ive asked lotsa ppl, like LOL, damn lot of ppl. Some are helpful some arent, some feels its so complicated that they started giving some shitty comments which doesnt help at all. Some when i called them to talk about me they started talking about their mother and dinner. Some cant even help to just listen. Here comes the frens evaluation time. Lol. U see, when u need help and advice the most, when u just need a hand, some lend u one, some pushes you down the cliff, and some who watch u struggling at the edge of the cliff and let u MATI

But of cors, through all this, i can see some really helpful ones also, and shocking enuff, some arent even my closest frens. Maybe God want me to be independant or somewhat,babes are all gone for vacation when i need to talk to them the most. some actually called to just asked if ive made my decision and help me to deliberate, some assures me like i can do wonders in life, haha, some really helped me, gosh, i owe u guys man, u know who u guys are, maybe it ddint mean that much to u guys, but seriously when i was so FREAKING lost and u guys just show me the light, god, ok im exaggerating but ahh, ok, in short, THANK YOU ppl. =D

And duhh, im gonna be a pharmacist, i might suffer might cry, might even see the light Melinda always show to those floaties at times, but ahh, i hope i can make it. And i will try hard enough. Coz now its my mum who is paying. Gowd. :O

And talking about my mum, I tink i really owe her a big one. And her love is so much sometimes i feel like im so worthless. She is investing so much in me, and this investment doesnt have a guarantee that she will gain back some in the future. Nowadays, i get so worried, seriously, i realy dont like spending my mum;s money, thats why i was so reluctant to choose pharm that time due to the amount of cash we are gonna pay. Im gonna be a good kid, i will study even harder mum, dont worry. :D Ok i shuden continue anymore, GOD im gonna cry.

And u guys tell me ur bf or gf are the ones who love u guys the most, seriously, think again.

`Something came across my mind today, if theres a fren who cant actually defend u when issues arise, the fren instead ,stood by there, didint defend you though its all her fault just bcause she is afraid and scared to tell the truth, will u still stand by her side, and let forgive-and-forget be a solution to this matter? Trust me, i felt like killing all those ppl, literally. They dont deserve frens like, at all.

`And u know what, i m sick to just listen to you, you you and all about you, cant u at least listen to me for one time. And worse u, u always just make me feel worse, have a lil control on what uare about to say and sometimes u really make me feel worse when i need help the most. And when u need it, god, i have to act like some goddess to just comfort you. Whatever, it doesnt matter, i will not care anymore. Like seriously.

Ps. U know its hard when i need to put in photos so that you guys wont get bored with the WORDSSSS. Ahhhh.

Starbucks with val and will.

AND i really have a big huge head here, i hate my head. :(

TO PHARMACITY AND BEYOND, ppl. SMILE

Ok this is going to be intense!!:(

-Ok, i tink im gonna just voice out ALL, yes i mean all my disatisfactions in here, because im all out of space to keep those tinie meenie emotions which i kept all inside all this while, AND im freaking done with it.

-To you, YES YOU, i dono if u take me as a fren or what. But i do take u as a good fren of mine, i appreciate you, as YOU did help me out one time, and i really do like being ur fren. But u know, im not rubbish, not like when u have some bad mood going on and me being there for u being turn down like that. So what am i? Trash for u when ure feeling bad mood and im not even a fren worth ur few seconds to just mention that u need some time on ur own, or with others?! Freak u la.

- Ok, i do understand couples are lovely, like hello, u think i NOT KNOW IT?! But stop, just stop creating those ewwiness in public,yes maybe u do feel its normal to show the strength of thou and thee's love in public,verbally, physically, IT-ly , im fine with it, i get it, i understand it but do it at the right time, not like ALL The time and definitely not at KANCHEONG time, omg, ppl over there DYING ure still like ewwing here and there?!

-Evryone is fake. Just the level of it varies, i DO get that hello. Maybe im being portrayed as some dumb piece of thing, but seriously, i was that stupid but now im not OKAY! The most important thing is, i really dono if ure real, if what uve beeen telling me is real. I dono.

-Im very incapable of helping deeply troubled ppl, my bad, really, i shudve be helpful than to just complain about it. I didnt, i complained. Im sorry.

-I dont know what to study. I dono. How? Maybe due to the stress from all this caused me to feel so a bit unsettled, im UNSETTLED, and im MESSED up, And no one can help me at all. Oh god, i feel so super lost.

The feeling of getting what i want has long gone. And thats is what im going to say .

Do u know Abu Dhabi is 6700miles away from the USA, like the above, Damn messed-up, damn irrelevant, damn far apart.

the OH YEAH'S _U know i watched susan boyle;s music video today, theres some quote here which i find it pretty amazing.

DREAM,

AS U ONLY HAVE ONE LIFE TO LIVE!

So YOU, go think about it!

i I-Citied

Haha, yeah, finally i went there. It wasnt planned. Me eelin foong viivian just went aeon for moovies. It was supposed to be a k session but ah, looking at the queue and those students we gave in, and chose to watch movie, no, TWO movies instead. Yeah, so we watched a-team- which i dont really get what it means as im not really focusing, haha , yeah, i was tired OK! and of cors KARATE KID - which i found it quite amusing, i did cried for a lil when jackie chan and jaden cried. I LOVE JADEN, omgoshy. He is sooooo cute. Haha. But of cors the storyline doesnt make much sense to me, i mean ure telling me that a black kid beat a chinese boy who had training since young, NAH AH, no but still its a great movie to watch. :) And ppl dont kiss at the age of 12 ok, definitely not in China. And the gurl started it first. Haiseh man.

Look at the dude thereXD

After dinner we went i-city on the way of sending viivian back home. My first time there, foong's 13th time there. SERIOUSLY?! Like seriously. Haha. Its reallly just a waste of electricity la i would say. But neways, its still nice to have a place like that to chill, something different i would say. :D

*we're trying to act like Karate Kid but end up, i looked more like celebrating chinese new year.

Today is friday. And i never rushed like that in my life before. I tot i was gonna breakdown and cry on the way to settle all those application stuff. Ahh, thank god its over. And this proves that my procrastination disease got much worse after all the months of not studying /utilizing the brain cells.

random

U see, If u dont approach me with ur own initiative to get ur stuff settled, u think i am obliged to finish ur thing for you? Sometimes i do good for nothing, no, its ALL THE TIME. I m pissed, i think i am.

I really hate ppl lying to me for the fun of it. Cant u guys do a lil better than that?!

Lets tido already/ Haih

Lets call it june already. :D

Yes i left it alone and rot and die and poof again. I knw i knw.

Yes i resigned from adidas braja already, peacefully ok, peacefully. Lol. Coz i m really tired of selling shoes and trapped in that black and white container, yeah, or bus, coz its so long and narrow. and then i went to help out in popular braja, during stock-take to earn some la, 80 per day and so i went, it was another new experience for me as well, no i nvr tried stocktake before, and its spooky, dont eveer do that unless u really need $ to buy soft toy or whatever. Stocktake in popular is very much like yoga + papercut. OOO yeah. And then the outlet head of bukit tinggi, who was also there spotted me and asked if i could help out in btinggi during weekends to settle the membercard thingy. And i was dumb enough la to say YES. and so i went, and of cors, worked like donkey again. I gotto make new membercard for those idiots instantly , like immediately. Lol. Yeah, imagine the pressure when those idiots were waiting there, kla, lets not call them idiots la as they do read books, donkeys.

blablabla, then i just worked for that weekend and off i go . She is kinda pissed with me i can tell, but u see, i cant help much, mum was practically singing 'blahblahblah' when she needs to send me there. Haih. I just like to dip my foot into some elephants' poop. Gosh it even rhymes. Hahaha.

and then, i realised something so funny. U see, there were plenty of customers applying for the membercards, so u know i will get to know their names and phones and details. There is one gurl whom her name is like Britney Tan, Like B R I T N E Y. U know, i nvr tot there are ppl gonna have names like that, in this Justin Bieber era. Another kid, her name is *** SHIT NEE. yes, her name has SHIT inside. Finelah, if we were to call her in chinese, it would be quite a nice name, but imagine if she were to study in keb school like us, SHIT u know, i mean, cant her parents name her SHEET or SHUET....and its SHIT. wth.

Did i mentioned i actually went to langkawee, penang and genting for a week and i got so dark that ppl tot im a malay?! No i didnt. Ok, i looked like a REAl malay, like seriously, like INDON, like some illegal indon refugee, do we calll them refugee? Hahhahah. Chi sin. Yeah, initially i tot, umm, ok, just get a lil tanned and i will looked healthy and umm tanned. But tanned until like malay, aduihai.

Its kinda funny when u see how one interact with

another. What u need is patience. Yes maybe ure not used to the way it works, maybe its ur way ure following but ahh, see, I GOT MY OWN STUFF TO DO ALSO OK. Basket. Haiya, if u get what i mean la.

I went to the clinic this morning to get my Hep B test done. Omg, tell u what, u tink im gonna be scared of that needle thing?! Ha HA HA. Ure so wrong man. It wasnt painful also, awesome man, i felt so TOUGH suddenly. hahahahahhahahah. The doctor took plenty of bloody from me, like maybe half a test tube, they are red fresh and umm red. Ok i tink im too bored. TEE HEE.

SO SICK OF THINGS.

watching K I L L E R S nanti.

A W W S O O O M N E R S.